Last night Mia was reminded who is really in charge in the house. Though she knows shes the Princess and thinks she runs the house, it doesn't take much from Queen Mama to set her back in her place. Last night was a prime example.
99% of the time I am "Fun Mama", I do let her walk all over me sometimes (mostly because its either that or have her scream and wake her brother up) but I do discipline when I need to. Now that shes getting older and more rebellious I have found the need to put my foot down more. It ranges anywhere from putting her in "time outs" in her room, smacking her hand, and/or scolding her. It is somewhat effective since it does stop her negative behavior, but it does break her heart alot to see me mad at her (and it breaks mine to be mad at her) so I only do it when really needed.
However, last night she made the "Mad Mama" come out ... again. This time it was during bedtime. Though she has gotten better about not throwing so many trantrums around bedtime it is only because she knows one of us will stay with her until she falls asleep. Unfortunately, for her, if she takes to long I always end up leaving early (mostly due to Alex) and that sets her off crying and screaming again.
Last night I was extremely exhausted and tired. My head was not only hurting but I was really dizzy too so I knew I couldn't stay with her long. I tried talking to her and letting her know that I needed to go but we would have fun the next day, I gave her lots of hugs and kisses, however, I kept telling her not to cry or scream when I left. She needed to be a big girl I kept saying. Well when I left she cried hysterically and then started screaming that bloody murder scream. I got mad and went back in her room and calmed her down and talked to her again. Again before I left I told her not to cry or scream (mostly scream, I can't stand that scream she does now). Sure enough when I left she started crying again and soon came the scream. Thats when I started to really get irritated. I opened her door again and this time raised my voice a bit more and threated to give her a pow-pow and this time I smacked my hand loud and hard to show her. This seemed to work, she really didn't want a pow pow like that. So I said good night again, gave her a kiss, hugged her, and told her I loved her then walked out... all while saying "no screaming!" Well once I closed the door she cried a bit more.... then came the scream. Thats it! I had enough. This time I burst through the door (more for visual effects) and with a loud booming voice I said "HEY! What did I just tell you? No Screaming! Stop that right now!" She instantly stopped and looked at me with big bug eyes. I then left while shutting the door hard (not slamming it but closing it firmly). Again she cried but this time it was quieter and I never heard her scream again the rest of the time.
Phew! Score one for Mama! That wasn't easy at all but I am glad it worked last night. Not sure if it will always work but at least I had a break from that awful scream she does. I guess my old "cheerleader" voice came in handy. What I mean by that, is through my 4 years as a cheerleader I learned how to really project my voice loud and commanding without screaming or yelling. In fact I was always the loudest on the squad (we had competitions). I have learned that it can be a bit intimidating if I add a lower tone to it. I usually don't bring out that "Mad Mama" voice unless its really necessary so that it doesn't lose its effectiveness with Mia. Usually I only use it when shes in danger, ready to hurt herself or her brother, or like last night... when I just had enough and had to show her "Mama means Business!!!"
